So I got an infected toenail and had to dig it out to cut it out. Following discussion with my roommate ensued.

"I can't believe you did that to your toe! How can you cut it out like that?"
"It's not like I used my scalpel or anything..."
"I don't know, you seem to like that scalpel"
"I love my scalpel"
"Um...? I sleep next to you..."
"Bah, I only dissect things that are dead!"
*other roommate chimes in that I'd kill her first, then dissect her*
"Oh you better not!"
"x3"

*later*
"I feel like I need a good cry...like, I just gotta cry."
"....I could get my scalpel? "