So, the waffle machine in the cafeteria is my enemy.
Every day I go in for breakfast, swearing that I will have a waffle and some hot chocolate.
So I stare at it, and can't figure out how to work the damn thing without making a fool of myself.
But screw pride.
Tomorrow?
I'm making waffles.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Curiosity did what to the cat now?
I felt smart today in Microbiology.
We were discussing isotonic/hypotonic/hypertonic solutions, and Herr Professor asked what would happen to a red blood cell if it was placed in distilled water. People say nothing. Then they said it would shrivel. In my head, first thing he said it, I said it would swell with water and probably explode. Got it right.
Then he asked what solution would be necessary to have a RBC be in an isotonic solution. People eventually say, "Um, one with salt?"
"How much?"
"...90%?"
He laughed. A nursing student piped up "...9%?"
"It will explode"
After a few more seconds, I speak up from the back, "0.9% Saline Solution"
"Ah. Good! Finally! What salt?"
"Any non-toxic, preferably sodium chloride"
"Why?"
"....It's cheap."
And I was right x3<3
We were discussing isotonic/hypotonic/hypertonic solutions, and Herr Professor asked what would happen to a red blood cell if it was placed in distilled water. People say nothing. Then they said it would shrivel. In my head, first thing he said it, I said it would swell with water and probably explode. Got it right.
Then he asked what solution would be necessary to have a RBC be in an isotonic solution. People eventually say, "Um, one with salt?"
"How much?"
"...90%?"
He laughed. A nursing student piped up "...9%?"
"It will explode"
After a few more seconds, I speak up from the back, "0.9% Saline Solution"
"Ah. Good! Finally! What salt?"
"Any non-toxic, preferably sodium chloride"
"Why?"
"....It's cheap."
And I was right x3<3
I don't get it
So my UTI symptoms had greatly subsided since I drank that diluted cranberry juice, right? Cranberry juice + increased fluids = miraculous recovery, right?
Wrong. I was confused-bacteria don't just get flushed out like that.
I had discharge, not from my girly-bits, but from my urinary bits. I had two discharges at the same time, one normal girly stuff, the other not so normal, definitely not girly. I was confused.
There is no discharge without infection.
There is no infection without microbes.
There is no microbe colony happily living in my urinary tract.
Urine is sterile.
So I told them about the pain I had been having, they dismissed it as mittelschmerz (pain from release of egg, I had it), but were confused as much as I was when they did an exam and found no sign of infection, no...nothing. That's what I had told them-there's nothing there. It's just when you put pressure on this one area, that feels like it's been depressed. Imagine hitting a pothole in your skin on your arm, and it feels like there's a hole under your skin.
Nurse practitioner said that if the pain continues, go see my family doctor, because she simply could not find anything other than a strange growth around the meatus (just a skin flap, lovely image there), which may or may not be normal, but is not for concern.
I just don't get it.
Wrong. I was confused-bacteria don't just get flushed out like that.
I had discharge, not from my girly-bits, but from my urinary bits. I had two discharges at the same time, one normal girly stuff, the other not so normal, definitely not girly. I was confused.
There is no discharge without infection.
There is no infection without microbes.
There is no microbe colony happily living in my urinary tract.
Urine is sterile.
So I told them about the pain I had been having, they dismissed it as mittelschmerz (pain from release of egg, I had it), but were confused as much as I was when they did an exam and found no sign of infection, no...nothing. That's what I had told them-there's nothing there. It's just when you put pressure on this one area, that feels like it's been depressed. Imagine hitting a pothole in your skin on your arm, and it feels like there's a hole under your skin.
Nurse practitioner said that if the pain continues, go see my family doctor, because she simply could not find anything other than a strange growth around the meatus (just a skin flap, lovely image there), which may or may not be normal, but is not for concern.
I just don't get it.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
She never touches ground
Updates:
-Urinary tract infections are not fun. Working with them is worse.
-Finally got my uniform from Publix.
-Still no cashier training.
-Re-turned in W-4's, hopefully get my money soon
-Need to fill out FAFSA
-Need to file taxes at some point
-Apartment for next school year?
-New phone
-Nightmares.
On the way home Friday night I was very upset, mostly because of what Dad said. He said that he thought it was kind of silly for me to see the therapist, because more than likely my nightmares are caused by my overactive imagination, overreactive, obsessive personality, and my negative attitude that almost seems to invite torment, hoping sympathy will follow.
Of course he said it in not such nice terms. At one point he didn't continue what he was going to say, because he caught himself and realized how hurtful and insulting it would sound, but I knew what he meant.
He said that I only really wanted to go to the polysomnograph people because I'm curious and interested in that kind of stuff. I've always been curious. Why? Why? Why?
Said if I just stopped thinking about the nightmares, didnt' record them, didnt' think about them, didn't completely obsess over them, they'd go away.
Yeah, tried that too, Dad. It lasted a week. They come back. They always do.
On a happier note, my roommate and I have agreed that, should I get a sewing machine and/or access to one, she'll design the aprons and other items we want to sell, picking out the fabric and trim and what not, and I'll make them. Then we sell them at the flea market. I have a bunch of fabric already. I still need to make my little brother's Star Wars sleeping pants or Kimono-esque bathrobe (whenever he decides to stop growing taller than me ;_; ), and Wes's boxers. And of course, I need to do it by hand. And finish knitting my grandmother's scarf.
-Urinary tract infections are not fun. Working with them is worse.
-Finally got my uniform from Publix.
-Still no cashier training.
-Re-turned in W-4's, hopefully get my money soon
-Need to fill out FAFSA
-Need to file taxes at some point
-Apartment for next school year?
-New phone
-Nightmares.
On the way home Friday night I was very upset, mostly because of what Dad said. He said that he thought it was kind of silly for me to see the therapist, because more than likely my nightmares are caused by my overactive imagination, overreactive, obsessive personality, and my negative attitude that almost seems to invite torment, hoping sympathy will follow.
Of course he said it in not such nice terms. At one point he didn't continue what he was going to say, because he caught himself and realized how hurtful and insulting it would sound, but I knew what he meant.
He said that I only really wanted to go to the polysomnograph people because I'm curious and interested in that kind of stuff. I've always been curious. Why? Why? Why?
Said if I just stopped thinking about the nightmares, didnt' record them, didnt' think about them, didn't completely obsess over them, they'd go away.
Yeah, tried that too, Dad. It lasted a week. They come back. They always do.
On a happier note, my roommate and I have agreed that, should I get a sewing machine and/or access to one, she'll design the aprons and other items we want to sell, picking out the fabric and trim and what not, and I'll make them. Then we sell them at the flea market. I have a bunch of fabric already. I still need to make my little brother's Star Wars sleeping pants or Kimono-esque bathrobe (whenever he decides to stop growing taller than me ;_; ), and Wes's boxers. And of course, I need to do it by hand. And finish knitting my grandmother's scarf.
"See No Evil" -Enchant
Heard enough for today
Guess I'll turn and walk away
A leaf that's turned golden brown
The slightest breeze will bring me down
In safety mode system overload
My soul is moved with just disdain
But it's not my job to bring a change
Is it all by design
Or have we gone astray
Didn't we miss a sign
'Cause this can't be the way
Cynicism's a disease
No one's got it worse than me
Even if I raise my voice
It's just gets lost in all the noise
Are we over the line
Or was it ever there
Maybe I should resign
To convince myself to care
Can you feel
(Or are you paralyzed?)
Can it heal
(Or will it spread to our eyes?)
Are we blind
(Or do we choose each day)
To see no evil
(To look the other way?)
A generation born to bleed
On the jagged edge of apathy
And to stand aside and criticize
Is the extent of my expertise
After all that we've seen
You'd think we'd want turnaround
Instead we take each brush with fate
And use it to paint the town
Guess I'll turn and walk away
A leaf that's turned golden brown
The slightest breeze will bring me down
In safety mode system overload
My soul is moved with just disdain
But it's not my job to bring a change
Is it all by design
Or have we gone astray
Didn't we miss a sign
'Cause this can't be the way
Cynicism's a disease
No one's got it worse than me
Even if I raise my voice
It's just gets lost in all the noise
Are we over the line
Or was it ever there
Maybe I should resign
To convince myself to care
Can you feel
(Or are you paralyzed?)
Can it heal
(Or will it spread to our eyes?)
Are we blind
(Or do we choose each day)
To see no evil
(To look the other way?)
A generation born to bleed
On the jagged edge of apathy
And to stand aside and criticize
Is the extent of my expertise
After all that we've seen
You'd think we'd want turnaround
Instead we take each brush with fate
And use it to paint the town
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Ordinary Vanity
So school is going well. Checked in on my microbiology lab and so far no more growth and my dots look like everyone elses dots, but once we stain them we'll see some difference. I hope. Otherwise that means I got E. Coli and Staph growing all up in my mouth. Talked to the Pr. and she said that since I'm so enthusiastic and interested and from what she can see fairly bright, I should talk to Dr. Turner about becoming his lab assistant, paid or unpaid. Paid, yay, skills and money. Unpaid, yay skills and experience to be considred for paid position. So we'll see how that goes.
Went back to my work and they don't seem so upset I left "early" last Sunday (they schedled me for 6 when they said me my shift was until 5). I did have their permission though, but I was ticked they never gave me that cashier training. But tommorrow, I work 7:30 to 3:30, and Sunday mornings are always slow until 11 or so, so maybe I can run the slow shift. Work with Ms. Bonnie and have her train me, since we only have one till open. #242, woo hoo!
Got some coffee after school yesterday and sat down next to a classmate from computers. He hadn't said but 5 words all 3 class periods and had such a rigid, stiff posture and look to him. I sat down, watched him for 30 minutes, then got him some coffee and got him to open up for the next 3 hours. I love psychology :D
Spoke to coworker #1-Nathan (not the amputee coworker#2-Nathan) after work today, invited him to go get coffee with me after work tommorrow. Hopefully that will go well. Not a date, just a chance to talk to him and get to know him better. I hope he doesn't view it as a date. I like the guy, but only a standoffish crush. I don't know anything more about him except that he used to be a stockclerk, now works in Dairy, and his name is Nathan. So I have very little to base feelings on except he's always nice to me. But he's nice to everyone, and everyone loves Nathan.
I seriously expected him to reject me though. Was giddy as a schoolgirl when he said yes. x3
Went back to my work and they don't seem so upset I left "early" last Sunday (they schedled me for 6 when they said me my shift was until 5). I did have their permission though, but I was ticked they never gave me that cashier training. But tommorrow, I work 7:30 to 3:30, and Sunday mornings are always slow until 11 or so, so maybe I can run the slow shift. Work with Ms. Bonnie and have her train me, since we only have one till open. #242, woo hoo!
Got some coffee after school yesterday and sat down next to a classmate from computers. He hadn't said but 5 words all 3 class periods and had such a rigid, stiff posture and look to him. I sat down, watched him for 30 minutes, then got him some coffee and got him to open up for the next 3 hours. I love psychology :D
Spoke to coworker #1-Nathan (not the amputee coworker#2-Nathan) after work today, invited him to go get coffee with me after work tommorrow. Hopefully that will go well. Not a date, just a chance to talk to him and get to know him better. I hope he doesn't view it as a date. I like the guy, but only a standoffish crush. I don't know anything more about him except that he used to be a stockclerk, now works in Dairy, and his name is Nathan. So I have very little to base feelings on except he's always nice to me. But he's nice to everyone, and everyone loves Nathan.
I seriously expected him to reject me though. Was giddy as a schoolgirl when he said yes. x3
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Nerdy Cat is Nerdy
So I'm back to school now. Unpacked, back with roomies, are are as awesome as I remember them.
I normally wake up at 6:30, at the cafeteria for food by 7:30 (and shivering like sin from the OMG cold).
Monday/Wednesday/Friday:
8-8:50 am: CSC 138, Basic Computer Science. Internets, Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc.
I start out in the Hodge building, which is about as far from the dorms as you can get.
Then I sneak behind a couple buildings, down a really steep, usually frosted hill, across a creek in the woods, then up a steep hill to the Annexes for my next class.
9-9:50 am: Bio 102, Zoology. Love Dr. Connors, omg *heart*
He remembered me, and even saw me reading some bulletins outside his office.
"What you doing Ms. Maier? Looking for trouble?"
"Oh yessir, always."
"You know if you go looking for trouble, you'll often find it..."
"...well I did find you :P"
"See? You're going to find trouble soon enough." And he just laughed. Love that professor, so awesome, so enjoyable to listen and talk to.
Then back all the way over the river and through the woods to last class.
10-10:50: Gov 201, American Government.
Feels like a high school class. Take notes off the overheard, teacher lectures, read the text, not very interesting. I'm always tired as hell by now.
2-3:15 Eng 102, Composition and Literature. Love Dr. Caster. So fun. We spent 30 minutes joking about how dolphins are optimistic and always smiling at you. He doesn't want us to read poetry or prose or anything like that, but more so how people communicate ideas and make their arguments. Now THAT'S what I want to learn. Only have this class Monday and Wednesday though.
Tuesday:
8-9:15 Bio 330: Microbiology. So far so good. Dr. Turner is interesting, and there's a lot of cool nursing majors to talk to in there.
9:25-12:05 Bio 330 Lab
I like Pr. Ferris. She's awesome. Ended up staying late to finish the lab, just because I was having so much fun looking at the critters in the pond water. I was chasing down a water flea that I wanted to get a closer look at, but my sample ended up drying, killing him, fulfilling my desire to rid the earth of non-essential parasites. Then I found some "Protoslow", which slows down protozoans with a glucose solution that has a higher viscosity than water and so makes it harder for them to swim.
I remember yelling at the buggers at the end of lab, "Hah! Not so fast now, are you?!"
Pr. Ferris was cleaning and looked to me, "Excuse me?"
"The lil protozoans! They think they're so fast, but put them on sugar and they react opposite kids." She just laughed.
We also did some swabs that we put on agar. Everyone did things that people touch, like buttons or faucets or handles. I asked if I could swab my mouth, more specifically my cheek sides, since the q-tip was sterile. She said yes. I wonder what I'll get different?
Thursday:
Microbiology at 8 again, but don't have lab until 1:30-4:30ish for Biology 102. Basically dissection. Fun stuff. I don't want to cut rats. I like rats D:
I'm out almost $300 by the bookstore. Just simply couldn't get my books online for cheaper or fast enough. :(
I got a new labcoat though, for microbiology. I really need to hem the sleeves, or at least pull them back, but their smallest size was so huge on me. Definitely not the "hot nerdy geek" look I was going for. You know, since I totally need to make a good impression on the protozoans.
Overall, I'm tired by 3 oclock. I take a nap until 5 or 6, then I go eat. I just need to get into the routine of going to bed around...now, and then get used to waking up early.
The nightmares aren't helping though.
I normally wake up at 6:30, at the cafeteria for food by 7:30 (and shivering like sin from the OMG cold).
Monday/Wednesday/Friday:
8-8:50 am: CSC 138, Basic Computer Science. Internets, Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc.
I start out in the Hodge building, which is about as far from the dorms as you can get.
Then I sneak behind a couple buildings, down a really steep, usually frosted hill, across a creek in the woods, then up a steep hill to the Annexes for my next class.
9-9:50 am: Bio 102, Zoology. Love Dr. Connors, omg *heart*
He remembered me, and even saw me reading some bulletins outside his office.
"What you doing Ms. Maier? Looking for trouble?"
"Oh yessir, always."
"You know if you go looking for trouble, you'll often find it..."
"...well I did find you :P"
"See? You're going to find trouble soon enough." And he just laughed. Love that professor, so awesome, so enjoyable to listen and talk to.
Then back all the way over the river and through the woods to last class.
10-10:50: Gov 201, American Government.
Feels like a high school class. Take notes off the overheard, teacher lectures, read the text, not very interesting. I'm always tired as hell by now.
2-3:15 Eng 102, Composition and Literature. Love Dr. Caster. So fun. We spent 30 minutes joking about how dolphins are optimistic and always smiling at you. He doesn't want us to read poetry or prose or anything like that, but more so how people communicate ideas and make their arguments. Now THAT'S what I want to learn. Only have this class Monday and Wednesday though.
Tuesday:
8-9:15 Bio 330: Microbiology. So far so good. Dr. Turner is interesting, and there's a lot of cool nursing majors to talk to in there.
9:25-12:05 Bio 330 Lab
I like Pr. Ferris. She's awesome. Ended up staying late to finish the lab, just because I was having so much fun looking at the critters in the pond water. I was chasing down a water flea that I wanted to get a closer look at, but my sample ended up drying, killing him, fulfilling my desire to rid the earth of non-essential parasites. Then I found some "Protoslow", which slows down protozoans with a glucose solution that has a higher viscosity than water and so makes it harder for them to swim.
I remember yelling at the buggers at the end of lab, "Hah! Not so fast now, are you?!"
Pr. Ferris was cleaning and looked to me, "Excuse me?"
"The lil protozoans! They think they're so fast, but put them on sugar and they react opposite kids." She just laughed.
We also did some swabs that we put on agar. Everyone did things that people touch, like buttons or faucets or handles. I asked if I could swab my mouth, more specifically my cheek sides, since the q-tip was sterile. She said yes. I wonder what I'll get different?
Thursday:
Microbiology at 8 again, but don't have lab until 1:30-4:30ish for Biology 102. Basically dissection. Fun stuff. I don't want to cut rats. I like rats D:
I'm out almost $300 by the bookstore. Just simply couldn't get my books online for cheaper or fast enough. :(
I got a new labcoat though, for microbiology. I really need to hem the sleeves, or at least pull them back, but their smallest size was so huge on me. Definitely not the "hot nerdy geek" look I was going for. You know, since I totally need to make a good impression on the protozoans.
Overall, I'm tired by 3 oclock. I take a nap until 5 or 6, then I go eat. I just need to get into the routine of going to bed around...now, and then get used to waking up early.
The nightmares aren't helping though.
Feint
So maybe I won't move up in the world of business.
Saturday I went in, got that training, woo hoo. Malicia told me I'd be out by 5 the next day. I asked her twice, even asked Chad twice, and Tomas once. I guess I should've gotten it in writing.
When I first got in, asked Tomas to give me the hands-on cashier training. He said okay, if we got slow. I worked 12:30-3:54, went to Chad, asked him if I could have a 5 minute breather, because I was exhausted, we were so busy. He said I just got off break, why did I need another?"
"I don't have a break, I get off at 5."
"You were supposed to go on break at 3 and get off work at 6."
"...Since when? Let me see that!"
And he was right, they had me breaking at 3-3:30 and off at 6. I was upset. Still hadn't gotten that cashier training. So I asked him if I could leave at 5 anyway, I needed to get to college, and I didn't appreciate being told one thing then having it changed one me without warning.
Tomas wasn't too happy that I left early, and Chad was on the phone with him BEGGING him to talk to me.
"Do you want to talk to her? Say yes. Please say yes."
He made me go on break from 4-4:30, in anticipation of me being there until 6, but Tomas said I could leave at 5:11.
Dad questioned my judgement, saying that not only was I out $6 by doing that, I pissed off the boss, and may not get that cashier training. Well it didn't look like I was going to get it, again, anyway, and I had already planned for missing out on that $6.
And if they're going to look at the one time I asked to go home early, at the time they had said I could go home, and overlook the fact that I've stayed late for them several times and literally clean shit for them, they can just...goddammit. You can't tell your boss to get bent when you need the job. I just hate feeling like a dumb, ugly, short, useless, underpaid, undertrained, "go clean the explosive diarrhea off the seats, the piss in front of the urinal, and the puke all over the floor" bagger.
Saturday I went in, got that training, woo hoo. Malicia told me I'd be out by 5 the next day. I asked her twice, even asked Chad twice, and Tomas once. I guess I should've gotten it in writing.
When I first got in, asked Tomas to give me the hands-on cashier training. He said okay, if we got slow. I worked 12:30-3:54, went to Chad, asked him if I could have a 5 minute breather, because I was exhausted, we were so busy. He said I just got off break, why did I need another?"
"I don't have a break, I get off at 5."
"You were supposed to go on break at 3 and get off work at 6."
"...Since when? Let me see that!"
And he was right, they had me breaking at 3-3:30 and off at 6. I was upset. Still hadn't gotten that cashier training. So I asked him if I could leave at 5 anyway, I needed to get to college, and I didn't appreciate being told one thing then having it changed one me without warning.
Tomas wasn't too happy that I left early, and Chad was on the phone with him BEGGING him to talk to me.
"Do you want to talk to her? Say yes. Please say yes."
He made me go on break from 4-4:30, in anticipation of me being there until 6, but Tomas said I could leave at 5:11.
Dad questioned my judgement, saying that not only was I out $6 by doing that, I pissed off the boss, and may not get that cashier training. Well it didn't look like I was going to get it, again, anyway, and I had already planned for missing out on that $6.
And if they're going to look at the one time I asked to go home early, at the time they had said I could go home, and overlook the fact that I've stayed late for them several times and literally clean shit for them, they can just...goddammit. You can't tell your boss to get bent when you need the job. I just hate feeling like a dumb, ugly, short, useless, underpaid, undertrained, "go clean the explosive diarrhea off the seats, the piss in front of the urinal, and the puke all over the floor" bagger.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Baa Baa Black Sheep
So I've almost moved up in the world today. At work, I was supposed to get off at 6:30, but I was so disappointed all day that they hadn't scheduled me for cashier training like they promised, like I had bugged them the whole week about, that I went to the head customer service manager and asked them one last time, *when*?
Malicia apologized, said that if I had time, she'd put me on the tutorial right then.
So I've been on the tutorial for cashier, and hopefully tommorrow if we get some downtime they'll give me my own till and train me.
Then after a month or so they'll consider making me a full time cashier with the pay increase. I also put in my W-4's, so I should be getting the full amount. I'm also putting stuff into my 401k though, so it should all even out.
I just feel like I'm not moving up farther. Woo hoo, now I'm on par with the 16 year old cashier who started out at that job.
Make me feel like unskilled shit.
Malicia apologized, said that if I had time, she'd put me on the tutorial right then.
So I've been on the tutorial for cashier, and hopefully tommorrow if we get some downtime they'll give me my own till and train me.
Then after a month or so they'll consider making me a full time cashier with the pay increase. I also put in my W-4's, so I should be getting the full amount. I'm also putting stuff into my 401k though, so it should all even out.
I just feel like I'm not moving up farther. Woo hoo, now I'm on par with the 16 year old cashier who started out at that job.
Make me feel like unskilled shit.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Silent Heaven
So I've been working a lot lately, at the grocery store. Bagging groceries for everyone. My old manager, that I worked for over the summer, was fired while I was at school so I have a new manager now. Very nice guy. Agreed to train mas a cashier next weekend and they're going to let me work every weekend.
With that money I'll have enough to get a car AND go visit Ferret.
Long hours though. If they were more spread out I'd be fine, but we're talking 6-8 hours bagging. Tommorrow I work 9 hours to cover for a co-worker whose baby is terribly sick. I'm not complaining too much. Hours means money, but it also means tired and pain. That's work though.
Had 14 hours the first week, got me about $90. Got almost 35 hours the next week so that will get me around $200. This week I have almost 28 hours so another $160ish. I've spent almost $100 in the last few weeks, plus whatever I spent for Christmas, so I could use the money.
I've been thinking though, back to that week I house-sat in the summer. I was so happy. I didn't see any friends, but that didn't bother me so much.
I was on my own. I bought my own food, prepared it myself, made it to my liking. I biked to work on my own, and knew that my job would feed me and the kitten that I was watching (further known as "my kitten", because it still is in my head. I loved it. It cried and clung to me when I gave it back to it's legal owner).
I would prance around at work and tell my co-workers that I got to go home to see my kitten, and I'd buy the kitten a little soft meal entree whenever I bought a special meal for myself. I'd take home balloons and random toys and boxes my work let me have. It didn't need fancy toys.
Its favorite toy were these shrimp crackers Eli gave me. After supper and we were both fat and happy and lazy, we'd lay on my bed and watch TV or whatever. The kitten would curl up next to me and purr, and we'd play and relax.
That kitten loved me and I loved kitten. Lil' happy Boots cat. The first night I had him I had to keep him in the bathroom, so I made him a bed out of a shoe box and a towel and slept in there on the floor next to the cat. I woke up to him sneaking over to sleep next to me, but me waking me scared him back to his bed. After that though, he'd just sleep next to me. Happy little thing.
I have to take care of things. That's why I had fish at college. When those died? I started taking care of my roommates. I do this. I have to care for things, even if they're just plushies.
I was so happy though. Biking everywhere I needed to go. Buying my own food. Running my own house. Coming home to that cat.
I want to live like that again.
With that money I'll have enough to get a car AND go visit Ferret.
Long hours though. If they were more spread out I'd be fine, but we're talking 6-8 hours bagging. Tommorrow I work 9 hours to cover for a co-worker whose baby is terribly sick. I'm not complaining too much. Hours means money, but it also means tired and pain. That's work though.
Had 14 hours the first week, got me about $90. Got almost 35 hours the next week so that will get me around $200. This week I have almost 28 hours so another $160ish. I've spent almost $100 in the last few weeks, plus whatever I spent for Christmas, so I could use the money.
I've been thinking though, back to that week I house-sat in the summer. I was so happy. I didn't see any friends, but that didn't bother me so much.
I was on my own. I bought my own food, prepared it myself, made it to my liking. I biked to work on my own, and knew that my job would feed me and the kitten that I was watching (further known as "my kitten", because it still is in my head. I loved it. It cried and clung to me when I gave it back to it's legal owner).
I would prance around at work and tell my co-workers that I got to go home to see my kitten, and I'd buy the kitten a little soft meal entree whenever I bought a special meal for myself. I'd take home balloons and random toys and boxes my work let me have. It didn't need fancy toys.
Its favorite toy were these shrimp crackers Eli gave me. After supper and we were both fat and happy and lazy, we'd lay on my bed and watch TV or whatever. The kitten would curl up next to me and purr, and we'd play and relax.
That kitten loved me and I loved kitten. Lil' happy Boots cat. The first night I had him I had to keep him in the bathroom, so I made him a bed out of a shoe box and a towel and slept in there on the floor next to the cat. I woke up to him sneaking over to sleep next to me, but me waking me scared him back to his bed. After that though, he'd just sleep next to me. Happy little thing.
I have to take care of things. That's why I had fish at college. When those died? I started taking care of my roommates. I do this. I have to care for things, even if they're just plushies.
I was so happy though. Biking everywhere I needed to go. Buying my own food. Running my own house. Coming home to that cat.
I want to live like that again.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Chaos Theory
My twitches have increased dramatically. This is contrary to my theory that I only really got twitches during the school year because I leaned heavily on my right arm/shoulder/whatever to write for school, or just pay attention, which put a lot of strain on my right shoulder/neck.
I haven't leaned on anything in over a month, yet my twitches are exacerbated by stress, as obviously seen by how I was twitched quite literally every 30 seconds to a minute tonight.
I want to lay down, but the oneirophobia is back, and I'm a coward.
I haven't leaned on anything in over a month, yet my twitches are exacerbated by stress, as obviously seen by how I was twitched quite literally every 30 seconds to a minute tonight.
I want to lay down, but the oneirophobia is back, and I'm a coward.
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